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There's No Right or Wrong when it's Your First Time!

I remember the first time I even came close to having sex with a woman; I was so petrified that I wouldn't be able to please a woman that I literally just wanted to run away, get in my car, and drive home to save myself from embarrassment. However, I had to get over this ludicrous fear at some point; after all, I was a woman and who knows how to satisfy a woman more than a woman, herself? Its true to say that different things affect and pleasure women in different ways, but bear in mind that you don't have to know exactly what turns her on as soon as you kiss her ... lesbian lovemaking is a feast of exploration and discovery that you should savor!

I always thought that there would be some text book guide to first-time lesbian sex, but the truth is that how can a book guide you through sex when it doesn't know what ultimately turns your partner on? I believe that if you think you are close to having sex with your partner (for the first time), or you are just so absolutely gagging for it that you are going to go out and get it soon, there are some things that you should bear in mind ... I call them my top five tips!

1. Never Get Drunk
Heterosexual sex is like wham-bam-thank-you-mam, whereas lesbian sex can take place over the course of a few frantic minutes to a few lust filled hours. Whatever situation you may face I always think it's important to stay sober. There would be nothing worse than finding the room spinning and the toilet beckoning; it's a complete turn off for her and a missed opportunity for you! I had a couple of glasses of wine before my first time, but anything more than that is asking for trouble!

2. Know Your Body and What You Like
I think the first thing you need to understand (before you make love to a woman) is your own body, and, yes, I am talking about masturbation here! If you can identify what turns you on, and where you like to be touched, then you may be able to translate that to her body. Of course, every single woman is different, and has different fantasies and desires  - but having some idea of where to touch a woman, and how hard or soft, is a good starting point! Also, understanding what you like will prove to be useful when your partner wants to know what you want her to do!

3. Plenty of Foreplay
Lesbian sex is like a voyage of discovery. When the ship sets sail you don't automatically turn into a muff diving fanatic! Foreplay is the key to sexual arousal with women, and I often think that the more foreplay you have the better the sex will be! For your first time, it will also give you the opportunity to touch your partner, get to know the entirety of her body and give you breathing space to relax. Sex will come naturally and the more foreplay you give each other, the more sexually aroused you will become and the more breathtaking the sex will be!

4. Don't be Afraid to Communicate
I don't think there's any point in lying there like a meek mouse, too afraid to communicate. Ask her what she likes, ask her where she wants to be touched, and find out what she wants you to do. If your partner is more sexually experienced than you (on the lesbian front) then she will probably direct you, but don't be afraid to have the confidence to talk! You also need to tell her what you like, too; if you don't want to actually say the words then soft moaning or gasps will do the trick!

5. Keep it Simple
Wherever your first lesbian sexual encounter takes place, don't make it complicated. Don't come armed with dildos and vibrators  - or spend hours memorizing the Lesbian Karma Sutra! It will just end up getting so complex and cumbersome that the event probably won't even take place. I think that you should keep it simple for your first time, and take pleasure in each other and your bodies. Being inventive with sexual positions, or introducing sex toys into your sex life, will come with time and there's no need to rush!

In a final passing sentence I would just like to add that if you're partner doesn't orgasm the first time you have sex with her this does not mean you are a failure. It takes time to understand the intricacies of female/ female sex and you can't become an expert overnight. I believe that practice makes perfect!

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