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How to Tell Your Lesbian Lover No

If you are on a fabulous date. or have just begun a wonderful new relationship, then telling your new girlfriend 'no' may be something that you have trouble with. There are many women that are just unable to say no to their friends, family, or love interests. An even fewer amount of women have this problem with everyone, even strangers. Sometimes telling someone no is necessary. While you think that not agreeing to do what someone wants will cause a problem, in many cases you will find exactly the opposite to be true. Telling someone yes, when you really want to tell them no, causes more problems in the long run then you would want to believe! ... Such as resentment, bitterness, anger, and loss of self-respect - just to name a 'few'. The goal of any relationship is honesty. If you feel uncomfortable doing something, or you just are lacking the time or energy, then you should say so. If you need some help learning how to be more assertive you can find some tips below.

Practice Makes Perfect
When you are home alone practice being assertive by considering situations in which you may have to explain you do not agree, or will not be able to do whatever is being asked of you. You might do this by imagining your girlfriend saying she wanted to see other people with your consent. Stand in front of the mirror and explain to her why you do not agree this is a good idea. You could use anything for this of course, that is just one idea. Returning merchandise to a store, or sending food back in a restaurant , are a couple of other ways of practicing your assertiveness.

Learn to Admit Your Feelings
This exercise is specifically for when you are in public and dealing with customer service employers. If you cannot be assertive enough to tell a stranger how you feel, then you cannot expect to tell your girlfriend how you feel, either. So, start by being more assertive in public to build your confidence, so, when you do have to be assertive with how you feel (in your relationship) then you will know exactly how to do this.

If you are not happy with your service, end up with your order being processed wrong, or have questions about your service then you should voice these concerns. Try not to stumble over your words, or apologize for your feelings. Make things simple. If your hamburger is made wrong tell them it is wrong and request a new one, or if you don't understand why your car insurance is through the roof request that they explain it to you, or recheck their own records for possible mistakes or errors. The quickest way to get cheated in any type of setting is to just go with the flow without looking out for your own interests.

Be Honest With Your Partner
Most women are concerned with having a relationship that includes sharing and intimacy. Tell your potential partner that you have a hard time voicing your opinion, or telling people no. You want to be able to look out for yourself, but it can be hard - especially if you think people need or want something from you. With her help and understanding you can find a way to beat this problem. Ask her to help you by nudging you along when you say no to someone else, and ask her for her understanding if you have to say it to her. Explain to her that, even though you are giving and would not want to deny her anything, that you may have to say no but that you don't want that to affect your relationship in any way.

Think Priorities
It is important to remember that if she has a problem with you saying no that it speaks volumes about her - volumes that you need to hear. You deserve to be with someone that cares about your feelings and wellbeing, and who would never purposely place you in such an awkward position to begin with. If you say you cannot do something because it makes you uncomfortable your lover should understand and support your decision. If she doesn't then you may want to talk about why things are the way they are. If you find that your lover will not be happy in a situation where you disagree with her - no matter what the topic is - then you might want to cut your losses and find a new lover. Relationships are about compromise, acceptance, and understanding. If your lover is more worried about her own needs, and less about yours, then it's time to stop worrying about protecting your own interests with her and instead learn to tell her you don't think your relationship is going to work out.


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